Unbroken

Unbroken

A distant world
of constant lies,
of tears and torture,
broken ties;
A cloudless morning
full of dew,
I feel so empty
without you.
your eyes are madness
pain, regret,
you're in my soul,
I can't forget;
You're in the sun,
you are my moon,
you're in my head,
an endless tune.

A perfect circle,
mobius ring,
I'm disconnected
from everything.
You were my compass,
I found my way,
But now I'm lost,
and lead astray.
Inside myself
I've got to find,
the path I followed
and left behind.
My head is spinning,
a constant blur,
perfected chaos,
an endless whir.

But here I am,
I've much to do,
I will not hide
and I cannot rue;
So on I go,
and I will stand,
and I will live,
my feet will land,
I'm tired, angry,
happy, sad,
I've got to take
the good and bad;
I have myself,
I have my soul,
I have my heart,
I've played my role.

And so, I'll be
contented now,
to finding love,
and learning how.

so, i have loads of really amazing friends. i'm extremely lucky to have the friends i do. and yet i'm unreasonably upset about losing an friendly aquaintance that i barely knew. our entire friendly aquaintanceship (word?) was pretty much just sex. and now that it's been broken off in an altogether far to unceremonious manner, i'm absolutely gutted. i feel heart broken. i'm genuinely hurt, but i don't really think i should be. and now i don't know how to feel about it. i'm really confused, and extremely fucked off because i'm so confused about something so stupid. god i hate being female sometimes... i really really hate these hormones, these feelings, these thoughts...
i'm going crazy!

i feel numb today for some reason..
i woke a little after eight this morning, then i stayed in bed and read the last hundred or so pages of the book i was reading. it made me cry.
but now i feel like i cried for me, which is silly, i have no reason to cry. aside, maybe, from the fact that i'm hungry, but even then i can't complain because it was my decision to stay in bed and not go out and get food...
i don't want to be in asia any more. i'm tired. i'm sick. i'm lonely. i miss all the people that make my life better..
i'm not complaining, i mean not to anyway. i'm just tired, and i want to see my family, i can't wait till christmas, i don't really know what to do here, and so i think it might be, not a waste, but maybe not the best use of my time...
i think when i get back to nz, i'm going to get all my pics onto my computer, and make all my albums and...just get everything sorted...and maybe lay on a beach for a few days, before i go home....
i'm still very hungry, like an idiot i had 6 cigarettes for breakfast, and they didn't really cut it.....smoke smoke smoke...

there are bars here that play nothing but friends or family guy or simpsons..