peace, serenity, beauty, love.
please don't escape my grasp...

one step at a time. i need to force myself to do what'll make me better. it's really hard most of the time.
i am going to eat better. i am going to exercise more. i am going to smile more. i am going to drink less. i am going to sleep at more normal times. i am going to brush my teeth twice a day. i am going to drink lots of water everyday. i am going to walk three times a week minimum. i am going to hike twice a month minimum. i am going to spend time with people who make me feel good about myself. i am going to avoid drama that has nothing to do with me. i am going to focus on being happy and healthy. i am going to listen to good music. i am going to dance. i am going to stretch properly at least three times a week. i am going to be happy. i am going to be happy. i am going to be happy. i want to be happy. i can be happy. i will be happy.

Sarah

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see.

I must be stupid
I must be bad,
Why else would I make
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish  weren’t ugly,
Then maybe my mummy
Would still want to hug me.

I can’t speak at all
I can’t do a wrong
If I do I get locked up,
All day long.

When I’m awake
I’m all alone
The house is all dark,
My parents aren’t home.

When mummy comes in,
I’ll try and be nice,
Maybe then I’ll just get
One whipping tonight.

Don’t make a sound!
I just heard the car
My daddy is back
From that dirty old bar.

I hear him curse,
It’s my name he calls
So I press myself
Against the wall.

I try and hide
From those evil eyes
I’m so afraid now
I’m starting to cry.

He find me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says it’s my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He’s already locked it
So I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more ugly words spoken.

“I’m sorry!” I scream
But it’s now much too late
His face has been twisted
With horrible hate.

 

The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.